you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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