I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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