I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
