whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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