I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
