She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
