i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We are two peas in an std pod
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
