chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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