Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
