Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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