We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Randomize
