she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
