Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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