you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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