You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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