do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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