In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
