I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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