Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
