i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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