i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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