I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
