I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
i think im in europe. pls send help
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