yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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