I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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