No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
