You're a womanizer and a bitch.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
