Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
