Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I wish life had little blips of pornography
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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