He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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