yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
