Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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