dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
