we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
