I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize
