Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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