And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
