Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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