im gay
i know
yea but for you.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
