You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Also, beer. Big fan.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
