i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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