his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
