I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
