Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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