think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
