I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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