I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I will be naked everywhere
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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