why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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