woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
