But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
