...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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