Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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