Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You ate ashes out of my bong
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
