I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
