I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Every concussion has its silver lining
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
