i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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