so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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