You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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