is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
