I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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