i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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